when we were younger and had more courage, we had simpler explanations for pain.
you fall, you scrape your knee, your knee hurt. simple cause and visible effect.
we had the courage to pick ourselves up and brush the grit out of our scraped knees and run again… as we grow older, we grow more fragile, our hearts feebler and our spines wilt with past disappointments and craggy remnants of fear.
i realize how arbitrary life is.
every once in a while we stumble upon a coincidence or find connectedness and we re-assure ourselves that there is still divinity, hope, and effect follows cause follows effect, in an endless chain of smoke rings…
in all this bumbling about we even find a warm spot to stay in for a while. we find love.
love. this is not a word i use freely.
for some time, i could never say this word. it would get jammed in my throat or coat my tongue like the after taste of a particularly nasty pill.
and now, when I linger in this little spot of warm, the unease too lingers like a persistent deja vu.
love and i have made our acquaintance, several times over… and i see her for what a bitch and a delusional rush she can be.
i realize how arbitrary love is.
if you have it, you wane to its importance, if you don’t, it consumes you with longing for it, it teaches you to crawl, beg and suffer every humiliation and indignity, it lulls you into a coma of smug, complacency, it eludes you, deludes you, empties you, you chase after it or it chases after you…
i realize how arbitrary the chase is.
does staying put help? or does one just have to take longer strides?
what happens when you have outrun the chaser? does it get lonely at the finishing line? is there a finishing line at all?
what if you have caught up with the one you are chasing? what do you do then? sit down and have some tea? what after that?
i realize how arbitrary speculation is.
the only truth that i have, is this one moment. the only constant is right now.
and now is a good enough place to be...
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62 comments:
Yes! Now is a good enough place to be :)
Kal ke liye aaj ko na khona..yeh aaj na kal aayega !!
my gyaani bro, thank you!
nice read...
loved it
blank reaction...
dunno how to react...
when i started reading it, i did not know i will go in my own world. if i knew how to write i would have probably written something like this.keep writing and we will keep reading. anuj
salute madame,
outer decor of ur white diary impressed me too much with little flower petals adorning it and left me curious how the ink inside beautified it... nw i knw.. quite intresting..
aastha
aastha!! bachha!! you reading my blog too!!??? super!!!
I relate to everything you wrote...Love IS arbitrary, a contrivance of the ego. Love never ends well: best case scenario is a life long love, which ends with someone being more alone than ever. Sunshine anyone? LOL...keep writing.
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Also after you do any form of exercising it can be strongly proposed that you simply drink lots of water in advance of in the course of and just after to keep your body effectively hydrated.
So instead of strolling at a continuous pace for say an hour, you would modify things up by alternating brief bursts of intense strolling for say a
minute followed by a recovery period with slower strolling right after just about every extreme time period.
Just preserve alternating for twenty minutes to begin and add time when you turn into extra fit.
You'll be able to use interval coaching with all phases of your eyeglasses online to enhance your success.
Also after you do any form of training it's strongly suggested
that you just drink lots of water before for the duration
of and just after to keep one's body effectively hydrated.
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