the rubberband of nothingness

i want to write and illustrate that book, but i havent touched my sketchbook. i want to learn to drive, but i havent taken my ass over to the driving school. i want to swim, go out more often, work out, get more plants, meditate, learn to bake... and all i am doing really is floating in a haze from one day to another with these vague notions of purpose.
and by listening to the quiet, listless, unease around me, i realise i am not the lone woman here...

she wants to leave her husband, but just cannot walk out of that door; she has been looking for love, but will just not get out there and meet anyone new; she wants to leave her job and paint and draw, but like mine, her brushes stay untouched...

i read somewhere that the opposite of action is not inaction, but waiting.
should i engage myself in the flattering thought that i am merely waiting, biding my time, marshalling my forces, until there is this burst of creative energy and some tangible output?

"... i keep busy, yes, i squeeze in my writing here and there, why i wrote two poems last year, yes, and finished one painting and part of another over the last eighteen months, yes, the house, the kids, the husband, the boyfriend, the cat, the toddler, need my consummate attention. i am going to get around it, i dont have the money, i dont have the time, i cant find the time, i cant make the time, i cant start until i have the most expensive instruments or experiences, i just dont feel like it right now, the mood is not right yet. i just need at least a day's worth of time to get it done, i just, i just, i just...", writes clarissa pinkola estes in women who run with wolves, as she talks about why we shackle ourselves in the rut of inaction and slow despair (this book has helped my soul heal when the wreckage seemed beyond repair).

how does one negotiate this?
the practical 'lets-repair-this' person in me wants to jump in and roll up her sleeves and fix it and get it working. but i also realise that its more tricky than that.
things happen when they do and there is really no rushing them... but to start with, i guess just being aware that this listlessness exists and wanting to make some meaning of our lives should be a catalyst enough...
something's got to give!
inaction cannot possibly stretch like an indestructible rubber band and snuff the life out of us... surely, it would snap!
meanwhile, i am going to get up everyday and go for a run, maybe i will even find my pack of wolves once again.